At the moment I am living at home for the summer and working 35-40 hours per week at the Charleston Assisted Living Center, which is the best job, I love it and am so very grateful for it. Comparing myself to the person I was a year ago is astounding, especially in one particular category...
My biggest passion used to be theater. I lived to perform. So naturally I was excited to audition to be a part of the bunch up at Playmill Theater in West Yellowstone. That was my plan for this summer and it seemed perfect. I love all my friends who are there and the family who owns and directs the theater is absolutely amazing. Then, about a month before I was planning on auditioning, I was praying about my plans and I received a very strong "no", that Playmill was not the path for me at this time. At first I was so confused, how could performing all summer long not be perfect for me? But there was no denying what I had felt, and there was no denying that I felt perfect peace at the prospect of going home and working for the summer.
Since I have been home there have been two plays I have almost been a part of. The first was Alpine Community Theater's production of "Annie". I have done three shows at ACT and the amazing people there are like a second family for me. The day of the auditions I got all dressed up and was literally walking out the door to go to audition when I had a complete meltdown. I felt so worried and full of anxiety at the thought of doing a show, so I didn't audition. You would think that after that I would have gotten the message, but not quite. A few weeks later I went and tried out for "The Sound of Music", simply because Maria is one of my dream roles. A few days later I found out that due to some scheduling conflicts the show had been canceled. Hahah! It almost felt like a joke.
Not doing any kind of theater has been very different and new for me. But it has also been very, very good. I couldn't even begin to write about how much I have learned about myself. The biggest thing I have learned is that there is more to me than performing, a lot more. Singing and dancing does not in any way define who I am. There is so much more that I can do. Who I really am is a daughter of God and I have infinite worth that wouldn't diminish if I were to be injured and couldn't dance or lost my voice and couldn't sing.
I have also learned that the Lord's plan for me is approximately 5 million times better than any plan I could come up with for myself. :)
