Some Moments...

Today is a weird day. It is that magical time of the month where all emotions are intensified. I skipped my science class so I could take a nap. (I don't believe in skipping class!) I haven't eaten very healthy. Today is just a weird day.

Also, I have been thinking about something. (Warning: if you don't want to gag, you should probably stop reading.) When I came home to Utah for my off-track in April, I was sooo through with dating. Every boy was so dumb. Relationships were over-rated. I was just done. There were times where my mom would say "Merrie, do you even like boys anymore? Sometimes I think you could just take 'em or leave 'em." That was basically how I felt. I did eventually want to meet the right guy for me and get married and I knew it would happen some day, but I just didn't care anymore.

During the 5 months that I was home from school, several things happened to me that slowly changed my perspective. It all started when I went to a wedding reception of a girl  from my home ward. As I watched the newly married couple interacting with each other, so in love, ready to spend eternity together, I suddenly felt overcome with emotion. I realized that I wanted that. The feeling was so strong and undeniable. I went home that night and bawled into my journal.

Several other events transpired during my summer. One of them was dating a boy who I got really serious with. He and I could have gotten married. It wasn't totally right though. I knew I needed to end the relationship, but leaving him I took with me a strong, strong desire to get married in the temple, to make covenants and create with a companion.

I still feel that way. With all of my heart, I want to move on to that next step in my life. I realize that life gets harder in many ways when you are married, but I still have that desire.

I am totally happy where I am, being single. There is no part of me that wants to rush into a foolish relationship or make a hasty decision. I know that everything will happen the way it is supposed to and in the Lord's timing for me. I am just saying that the difference between me now and me 7 months ago is that 7 months ago I didn't care and now my heart longs for that very important step in life.